I should know better

Dogue de Bordeaux - "He looks good enough to eat....though I`d need at least 3 of those to make a decent lunch"

Marcus - "Bring on the girls!"

I suppose I should be well used to Marcus by now. He is, to say the least of it, single minded...

At one of the summer shows we were redirected into somewhat cramped indoor accommodation. Marcus and the other Usual Suspects were placed in their crate at the ringside. I left them to look for someone, and when I got back, their crate had been joined by a much bigger one containing two Dogues de Bordeaux.

Merlin took one look at those two huge red mastiffs and dived under the bedding. Marcus, on the other hand, sussed out that they were girls. The little detail that their heads were bigger than his whole body was totally irrelevant. By the time I returned he was strutting his stuff for them. They were studying him with interest. Was he lunch? If so, why was the meal dancing?

Marcus gave me a knowing look. "I`m well in there mum. Did you bring a ladder?" He was most offended to be removed.

At the last show, I was well aware that Truly was still...well, quite interesting. But they would be separate. Separate crates, separate rings. And she was almost out. Shouldn`t be a problem.....

Oh dear. Marcus doesn`t do "almost". And when frustrated he screams. I spent a lot of time just shutting him up.....and then their classes coincided.

A kind friend took Marcus in for me. And I watched from the other ring as he behaved disgracefully, heaving and pulling to get a glimpse of his beloved at the far side of the hall. And then he spotted an alternative. A little dog of the same breeding as Truly, who looks very like her... Unfortunately, a male dog......

Gentle reader, I will draw a veil over the very unambiguous and very public advances he made to this unfortunate and unsuspecting dog. I can only put them down to desperation and hope the victim is not permanently emotionally scarred .

I gave him a sharp lecture on how he had ruined his reputation. He smirked at me. He was already planning how to get at her on the long journey home...

Alas, not even Marcus can chew through metal.

Training progresses. Boris, bless him, is not endowed with too much brain. The result is that he is willing to do everything I ask with a bemused look. When he is really puzzled he falls into a show pose, which is ideal for my purposes.

Calypso is a different kettle of fish. She sized up training class at once. Before the actual training starts there is a puppy socialising period. Calypso sees this as The Party. Every week she is wildly excited getting ready for The Party. When she gets there, screaming with excitement, she hits the ground running, and leads all the other puppies in wild chasing games. riccocheting around the room like a fur bullet. Boris watches in stolid astonishment.

Then comes the great betrayal. The lead. Show training starts. The Party`s over. Her parade has been well and truly rained on. The Great Sulk commences. The eyes roll and the tail is clamped between the legs. How could they do this to her? A lot of work looms ahead.

Recent shows? The least said the better. At least I can add a new judge to my list - the one who remembered her handler. And I will reveal all about the truly atrocious behaviour of Marcus next time.....

Just a quick one. This is a personal blog. Any opinnions expressed here are mine. I do not represent any dog club, kennel club, government be it local, , national or galactic, official views. What`s here is what I think. If you don`t like it, take it up with me. You know who I mean.

One of the few prospering shops on the Main Street is the Polish Deli. It`s never empty. And recently it has expanded into the promising field of Pizza.

They are of course truly Polish Pizzas, filled with Polish specialities.

There is a Masurian Farmer`s Pizza with sausage, pork and sauerkraut on top of the tomato and cheese. And a Warsaw Mermaid, prominently feaaturing Pickled herring.

I began to wonder why we had never developed regional pizzas here. A Welsh Pizza with leeks and laverbread? What would a Scottish Pizza feature? Venison? Salmon?

A friend put me right.

"Aye, it would certainly sell. Let me see - you`d want a standard base with cheese and tomato, then bung on a deep-fried pie and a big dollop of curry sauce. It would go well when the pubs close. You could call it the Braveheart Pizza."

Brave heart indeed.

Even braver stomach.

"Don`t talk to me about teeth !"

It`s been a while. Lots of reasons, incluing the dificulty of posting using his old laptop which suffers from a common laptop disease known as jumping cursor.

A quiet time. We held the dreaded seminar and it went off really well. All the dogs and people arrived on time, the talk went well, despite Truly`s insistence on staring at the ceiling all the way through, and Marcus, bored with waiting his turn, quietly eating all his lead. (I`ve had this trouble with leather leads before - I remember waiting to go into the ring with Decibelle, and discovering I was holding about 8 inches of lead- the rest was inside her, and it reappeared, in neat little sections, over the course of the next few days......)

Most people passed the assessment, and those who did not, took it in good part (with one glaring exception who had a hissy fit and became very offensive....and I`ll deal with him when he dares to come out of hiding.)

Apart from that, the puppies are growing on and have hit the great teething barrier. Suddenly ears have flopped, tails are at half-mast, and everything and anything is being chewed - I found them both yesterday chomping on the Dyson. They roll their eyes and give me looks that tell me how hard a life it is being a puppy.

Wait till they try being adults.