I should know better

Autumn rushes in, and with it longer nights. They bring problems - I live far from streetlights - but also advantages. Wandering gangs of feral children are not likely to come out at night.

I have been plagued by these this summer. The ones who are turned out at dawn and told not to come back till dark - "and here`s some money for chips." They come down to me, shout abuse, and attempt to attract, and possibly harm the dogs. The dogs are very upset.

I spent a lot of time rushing to the gate to try and head them off, and was stoned for my pains. One even pointed what seemed to be an airgun at me. I resolved that that would never happen again.

I laid out the hose, which is a long one. And the next time I heard them, I was waiting at the gate, and so was my hose. I hosed them. I am at the end of the water main, and have very high pressure.

At first they thought it was funny, and pushed each other into range of the hose. But as they got wetter and wetter, the amusemsnt evaporated, and the chill set in. It wasn`t a warm evening, and they were dripping.

Just as they retreated, water sloshing out of their shoes, the police arrived. They were highly amused. I pointed out that although they had run up into the field, they would be easy to pick off, as they were soaking and it hand`t rained for a week. "We`ll just go off and collect all the wet weans, then", they laughed.

It has been very quiet since then.

I like it that way.

....After an interesting hiatus in which I had one computer which would not get me online, and another which would, but had a dysfunctional keyboard on which pressing any key got you amazing and adventurous results . That`s not to mention Old Chuggy, who lives in the back room, and when started up proudly announces, due to a checksum deficiency, that it is the first of January 1995 - well, I suppose anyone can be proud of their birthday.

Anyway, I`m back, but you haven`t missed much.

Fidget, mercufully, has stopped growing, and will not have to be enered in Akita classes after all. Indeed, he went to his first show last week, where he had a great time, but did not distinguish himself. He has an unfortunate habit of barking on the move - I think it is to ask the other puppies to play - and is only silent standing still, when he is very willing to become a statue. I suppose we will get there.....

He was totally unfazed by the whole event. I was exercising him when we went round a corner and met 3 German Sheperds. Knowing his Papillon duty, he barked wildly at them. They studied him with growing interest. One of them stood up.

At that point Fidget, maintaining eye contact throughout, pointedly cocked his leg on the nearest post. The gesture said it all, You just don`t mess with a Pap dog. He walked away, very satisfied. We were all now safe from such as them. It was all a little tarnished by Ella, who had seen it all, yawning pointedly - but prettily, probably in the hope that someone would jump to fill her open mouth with cake, or ice cream.

Now we need to work on the problem of Fidget`s total allergy to being inside any moving vehicle. Short of the assistance of Scotty to beam me over to the benches straight from home, I fear I will be dealing with a rather damp and quivery puppy on arrival at shows, for some time to come.