I should know better

This happened last May. Five days of sun, then it rained till September....

Anyway, as you see, my lot are enjoying relaxing in the shade. And few can get quite as relaxed as Marcus....

It`s spring - well, we have had two sunny days and there might actually be a third. My lot are seen here making the most of it, in their usual quiet, refined manner.

I go to the cinema a lot. I always have.

But taste changes. After years of arthouse, I have sunk into a happy miasma of escapism. After all., time teaches you that there is a lot which is best escaped. I can remember , for instance, in my youth being fascinated by Italian Neo Realism - GERMANY YEAR ZERO and so on - but I now revisit these and their like and find them amazingly depressing in the light of experience. Been there, done that, don`t have any answers.....(have a very soft spot for Werner Herzog, though)

So anyway, my recent visits have not exactly been seeking answers to social problems or personal angst...

Let`s be honest - this old Trekkie loved the new STAR TREK!

Another visit was a bit strange. You know you are old when scenes from your past life begin to turn up in nostalgia comedies. So it was with mixed feelings that I went to see THE BOAT THAT ROCKED.

It`s a comedy about the pirate boats. And for those of you who don`t remember, way back in my youth the BBC had a radio monopoly in this country, and if you wanted to hear any range of pop music you had to tune to Luxembourg, broadcasting from abroad and so not needing a licence - or to the pirate stations, broadcasting from leaky old boats just outside the 3 mile limit and having no interest at all in licences. The best known one would be Caroline. And in my depraved youth, I knew some of the lads who DJd on the boats, and a jolly lot they were too.

Well, it was indeed odd. Not very funny either. Poor, scrappy writing. It seems they had a vision of broadcasting from a flat calm, sunkissed sea, constantly stoned and beseiged by boatloads of young women (some wearing clothes that were alarmingly familiar.) From what I was told at the time, if you decreased the totty frequency by 90%. and factored in gales, constant seasickness, leaky unseaworthy boats and isolation - but yes, they all said they loved it - the music, the excitment of being on the wrong side of the law, a start in the profession....

It brought back memories. Most of those lads went on to significant careers. One I knew is dead, and still has a fan following. They were a fun crowd...

Except, there was this one Irish fellow I met in their company. Not sure that he was on the boats at all, and he was a dour character, always very serious about his future prospects...

I wonder what happened to Wogan?

A reasonably successful beginning to the show year. Boris is enjoying it, flaunting his ears....unfortunately, having managed to hoist both of them at once, he is now struggling with the daunting problem of clothing them with an adequate amount of fringes.

I seem doomed to worry about those ears for ever. I still speak seriously to him on the topic, and he listens very carefully, but I fear the advice is going in one ear and out the other....

Merlin has no such problems, and is doing well, especially with Boris, quite a solemn little fellow, to show off to. He swaggers and screeches, and does quite well. He tends to gaze up at people with the sweetest expression, and I just hope they don`t realise how little real common sense lies behind the big dark eyes.

The last show saw both well placed, but otherwise the main interest was the whirwind. I`ve seen these often abroad, and this one as usual rose suddenly into a little funnel, carrying up a cone of dust and rubbish, swirled about, then suddenly,turned and shot right across the Pap ring, scattering everything on the stewards` table and overturning it, blowing away the results board, filling the Pap`s fringes with dust, and attempting to relocate the elderly judge to Oz (where I suppose his entry would be reduced to Toto, and possibly a few flying monkeys).

And then it died as suddenly as it began.

Everyone shouted about the "tornado" - it was later reported as such to dog people in America and I began receiving queries about damage and casualties, and how much of the county had been laid waste.

Little other excitement. I have at last escaped the dodgy half-life of committees, and feel so much the better for it.........

Oh, and hat is not on the menu. For all her singing and dancing, Solitaire has not passed her audition for the Pudding Club. But give it time - she may yet audition again, with an improved act.