I should know better

Truly, as has been mentioned before, is a problem.

The problem, possibly due to her body language, is that the other girls are out to get her. Truly, for her part, is not one to back down. I have to be on the alert.

So last weekend, when a melee erupted, I was right there to pull Truly out. She was unharmed - the whole thing lasted a moment - but in trying to get to her enemies, she slashed my arm.

I am well used to dog bites. I cleaned it out well, and put a silver dressing on it. Nevertheless, it hurt like hell all night, and during the next day my arm started to swell. And swell, and swell. Saturday, with no health facilities open except A&E at the local hospital - usually full on a Saturday night. So I called NHS 24.

This is an emergency system in which you phone in your problem, it is assessed by medical staff at the other end of the line, and you are advised what to do. Evidently the words "dog bite" rang all sorts of alarms with them, and at once I had an appointment at the local hospital. I took my red balloon arm along, was prescribed an antibiotic and yet another tetanus injection.....which I would have to get in A&E, after at least a five hour wait. I took my chances with that, and went off to get the antibiotic.

I was quite impressed with the whole NHS24 thing. I had heard about it from other people, and in particular had the memory of a friend whose hsuband had developed a huge boil on his nether regions. Being a man, he refused to go to the doctor, and it became quite nasty. Eventually his wife phoned NHS24. They asked all the details, and in particular wanted to know the exact dimensions of the boil. Picture the woman, phone in one hand and tape measure in the other, as her husband bent over in agony and bared all.......

Anyway, I am now bandaged and recovering. It is slow going. Truly must have been harbouring some really nasty Swedish bug in her mouth. I had it looked at again midweek, and the colour and the smell will not bear description here (but really impressed the nurses). I may yet need another course of different antibiotics.

So that, and travel difficulties, mean no shows this weekend.

Truly is supremely unaffected by all this. She is probably wondering why she cannot produce such gratifyingly awful results when she bites the other bitches.