I should know better

Life goes on, in a cold spring with lots of dogs. The warmer moments outdoors are spent in persuading Fidget that it is the destiny of every dog to walk on the lead. Fidget has totally conquered the training class - he walked straight out of his travelling box and greeted every dog there with the information that he was Fidget, a Very Important Dog, and then proceeded to check all the ladies for...availability. I could see he would be a handful.

This opinion was reinforced when he flatly refused the lead. A friend offered to help, using the well-tried bribery method, and half a pound of cheese later he had walked almost a yard. Very slowly. He went home with the satisfied expression of a dog who had won....and was full of cheese. I can see this will be a long saga, requiring patience and most of the contents of Tesco.

We met the same friend at a show this weekend. He came over to chat, wearing an oversized baseball cap. Merlin stared up at him. Merlin`s mental problems have often been aired here. I tried, as I often do, to work out the current processes of his pea-sized, contorted brain and realised that he was not at all used to hats. Clearly he was thinking - "This man has a deformed head".

I explained to the hat wearer, and he laughed and removed it.

Merlin was appalled. His jaw dropped and his eyes stared. The man`s head was not only deformed but part of it came off!

Before I could explain he had responded as he always does to emergencies. The whole hall was deafened.

As I carried off the screeching idiot, I reflected on the neverending variety of ways that male dogs can put years on a person.....

It`s entirely due to dogs that I am now 105.