I should know better

Dido and her daughter Decibelle are in season, and the males are in uproar. I have removed them from the attentions of the romeos and they spend a lot of time indoors.

Now I think I`ve mentioned before the immense social importance of urine to the dog. With ladies in this condition it becomes a bulletin board. By sniffing where the desirable girl has left a puddle, the hopeful dog receives a signal detailing exactly how receptive she is - a romantic message ranging from the equivalent of a coyly dropped handkerchief to hastily dropped knickers.

So I kept them in and rashly left them alone in the same room as the laptop. I returned to find that a lot of little love notes had been left by the hopeful girls. The laptop mains transformer was lying in a puddle and there was a strong odour of ozone and fried electrics - not to mention dog pee. Heaven knows why they decided to do it there. Were they trying to get their availability online? Had they been overwhelmed by the prospect of all those frustrated male pooches out there? Dream on, girls - I make the decisions in that area.

It left me offline. I had to trail in our little heatwave round the few computer shops the local town has (with catchy names like "Bits `n PCs" that really inspire confidence), trying to match the cooked mains adaptor.

I was told;
1. "That`s top of the line - we`d have to order it in"
2. "You can get one in Glasgow",
and I slogged on to the one remaining shop, staffed by someone who could make a fortune with central casting playing deranged computer geeks - fat, pasty and I swear his eyes rolled - and a quiet Asian girl.

I dropped the offending item on the counter.

"It got fried" I said.

To my horror he picked it up and held it close to his face. He sniffed it His nose actually touched it. He inhaled deeply.

"Yes, that`s gone all right."

I couldn`t help it. I had to say it.

"Actually the dogs peed on it."

He dropped it as if shot. "You had to tell me!" he yelped, as he shot through to the back room. There was a sound of retching and running water.

The girl grinned. "That`ll teach him to show off" she said. "We`ve got a universal one here you could try - he didn`t need to examine it at all."

Well, no, it didn`t work and I had to cobble something together from what I had with approximately the right voltages.

But I`m back online.

And Dido is destined for Florian. The romance of the century!

I`ll keep you posted.