I should know better

Autumn rushes in, and with it longer nights. They bring problems - I live far from streetlights - but also advantages. Wandering gangs of feral children are not likely to come out at night.

I have been plagued by these this summer. The ones who are turned out at dawn and told not to come back till dark - "and here`s some money for chips." They come down to me, shout abuse, and attempt to attract, and possibly harm the dogs. The dogs are very upset.

I spent a lot of time rushing to the gate to try and head them off, and was stoned for my pains. One even pointed what seemed to be an airgun at me. I resolved that that would never happen again.

I laid out the hose, which is a long one. And the next time I heard them, I was waiting at the gate, and so was my hose. I hosed them. I am at the end of the water main, and have very high pressure.

At first they thought it was funny, and pushed each other into range of the hose. But as they got wetter and wetter, the amusemsnt evaporated, and the chill set in. It wasn`t a warm evening, and they were dripping.

Just as they retreated, water sloshing out of their shoes, the police arrived. They were highly amused. I pointed out that although they had run up into the field, they would be easy to pick off, as they were soaking and it hand`t rained for a week. "We`ll just go off and collect all the wet weans, then", they laughed.

It has been very quiet since then.

I like it that way.