I should know better

If you have ever watched THE DOGWHISPERER , you will have realised the importance of the dogowner as pack leader. I am well aware of this, never more so than when I rushed down into the lower dogrun the other day, hearing the familiar sounds of all sorts of mayhem and threatening death or retribution.

It turned out to be a complex crisis. One of the cats was up in the walnut tree - Florian can`t climb that one, so he was halfway up the nearest one, grimly hauling himself up, determined on Cat Dinner.

Meanwhile the old ladies, the Heroines of the Soviet Union, were having a catering meltdown of their own, and canine threats and curses were being screamed. I parted the crowd and found two partly eaten rabbits.

It is not the first time that they have caught rabbits, and quite frankly any bunny rash enough to tunnel into the dogrun is committing ritual suicide. But in this case the ownership squabble seemed to be getting out of hand. I ordered the whole lot in.

They slunk in, casting me looks that weren`t hard to interpret....

"She`s having our rabbits. She`s shutting us up so she can have both of them for herself. Rotten selfish pack leader she is...."

I left them to cool their heels, and disposed of their catch.

When I let them out later, they made a beeline for the spot where they had left their banquet. No rabbits. Not even fur, or any remains. Furious glares.

"See that? She did it! Ate the whole lot herself! Didn`t even leave us a scrap of skin! Ate fur and all!

I could see that they were casting around for a way to tip me the Black Spot, and possibly a plank for me to walk.....

Well, dream on! No mutiny aboard this Bounty!

(Although sometimes it feels more like the Titanic.....)