I should know better

I run a pack here, and I let them function as a pack. I`m not one of those who feel a great need for control and manipulation of dogs. I would get no pleasure from teaching them tricks. They just have to remember that I`m pack leader, that`s all. And I get a lot of interest and entertainment from watching pack dynamics evolve.

I don`t keep many males. Julian is alpha male, top dog, a middle-aged, jolly lad with no thought of violence. The other males seem quite content with their place in the hierarchy.

Until now.

Marcus has always been a quiet confident lad with only two requirements - lots of lovely receptive appreciative ladies, and failing those, lots of cuddles. He has never argued with Mr Lentil or his brother, whom he looks on as an oddity. (Florian The Climbing Dog is obviously the skeleton in the family cupboard, the eccentric relative we Just Don`t Talk About, who is always up a tree, if not completely out of it.)

And then came Shelby.

Shelby isn`t at all agressive either. But for some reason Marcus is terribly jealous of him. And since neither one has any interest in fighting, other means have been sought.

Bumbiting.

As Shelby disappears into his bed at night, Marcus darts out and sinks his teeth into the enticing target offered by the ample Chin bottom. Before Shelby can get out and turn round, the attacker is at the far end of the room, with a look on his face that clearly says "A big dog did it and ran away". If he feels this is less than convincing, he will look pointedly at Merlin.

Poor Merlin, clearly bearing labels that read "omega male" and "pond life", tries desperately to blend into the wallpaper. Fortunately for him, Shelby is not that stupid. But he is at a bit of a loss. Neither he nor I can figure out what motivates Marcus, and he tends now to go about looking behind him rather a lot, dreading further perforations.

Young Topaz, Truly`s son is too young to be involved. But he definitely has "alpha male" stamped all over him, even at 9 weeks.

Let the rest beware !