I should know better

...And the rest of us suffer. The Beeb keeps telling us about the disturbing fact that parents will now not let their children play outside their own gardens, so afraid are they for their safety. Well, I wish it would catch on outside the middle class home counties. Here they run in feral packs, turned out at dawn and dared to come home before six - "And take the wean with you!" (Which is why I am subjected to 14 year old vandals and thieves trailing toddlers with them.)

But I notice that one of the local bus companies has come up with a solution. They are offering "specially for the holidays" a child`s All Day Ticket for a pound on the express shuttle service that hums along the motorway into Glasgow and back. Think of the possiblilities....

I can see the grateful mother shoving the child onto the 7.40am bus - "and don`t get aff till 6. Here`s yer Irn Bru and yer comic. I`ll meet the 1.40 and sling you oan some chips. If yer legs get sorta numb sitting just bang yer feet a bit."

I might just help to load a few myself. Well worth the money.