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Saga of a woman old enough to know better who lets her life be governed by the ridiculous hobby of breeding and showing dogs, musing on life, the twenty first century, Cameron and his mini-me, and the occasional sheep.
"IN DOG YEARS, I`M DEAD"

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

A TANGLED YARN 

Still no let up in the weather, and I can see I will not be venturing too far from home - anyway Kallista is due to whelp this week and that`s a tie.

So I`m a homebird. I may well take up my knitting again. It`s brown, it`s a fuzzy sweater with an aran yoke, and I`m not sure I like it. I`m better knitting for other people - what I knit for myself never pleases me somehow.

I`ve knitted since I was six, when I was already turning out socks. And when I was a graduate student and like all students chronically short of money, I knitted fairisle gloves and hats for shop sale........sweated labour for little reward.

It was at this time that I met J. A tall goodlooking lad who somehow never seemed too short of money. One of our group mentioned this, and eventually he admitted his secret source of income - modelling.

"We`ll see you on the catwalk then?"

"No, it`s not like that. It`s photographic modelling."

Lots of suggestive remarks at this point. He became very indignant and defensive.

"It`s nothing like that! I model clothes for a very reputable designer!"

He was obviously in earnest and we let it drop.

But I was the only one of the group who knitted, and the one who discovered J`s terrible secret. He did indeed model clothes for a reputable designer. But the designer was Wendy. J was the guy on the front of the knitting pattern. The one with the fixed grin, leaning on a fence with his arm right up to show that the bobbles go all the way up the sleeve.........

I threatened to expose the awful truth and he went into total meltdown. His masculinity was at stake. It seemed that I could have accused him publicly of impotence, a criminal record, and he wouldn`t turn a hair.........but this!

He eventually offered me a cut of his income to keep the secret.

Did I accept?

If you have to ask, you`ve never lived on a small student grant.

Sometimes knitting can be profitable.
Comments:
Way-hay -- Knitting Pattern Man! A faraway look in his eye and a pipe clenched between his even white teeth...

Knitting Pattern Man is a running joke in this household. He's raised every time I suggest knitting Mr L a sweater.

Woolgatherer
 
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