I should know better

Still recovering from a toydog show in the far north. This is one in which I function (in fits and starts and with great laziness) as a commitee member, which is why it began well before dawn, wifh me and a number of women, all old enough to know better, shoving, heaving and shoehorning dogs in crates and all the paraphenalia required for the show into an ancient minibus never designed for the purpose.

By chilly starlight we built up a swaying edifice of Papillons, Poms, and cooking utensils and sundries in the back. Somewhere in there, there was even a pot of soup......

It`s a beautiful run up to the east coast. Somewhere on the way a little dog, less than enchanted by the prospect, made his unhappiness known, and a familiar smell percolated through the vehicle. Instantly the fouled air was blue with denials.

"I only feed top quality dry food - mine never produce a smell like that."

"It`s not mine - I can see him."

"It`s probably just a fart......."

The affected dog, deep in the stack, kept his secret. I can however reveal that he really wasn`t mine. And it wasn`t just a fart.....

And nobody complained about the soup........in fact there were compliments on the depth of flavour.

I suppose it went well with some of the home baking. One lady always donates what she calls her "skitter cake" - "three cups of bran and four of fruit and somethings gotta move." She claimed to have fed it to one unpopular judge and rendered him housebound for three days. (This was strongly applauded.) .

The show went well. It always does, and is a great favourite. I had all three puppies, so two had to be handed out to strangers and were overawed. Florian did his best, but Marcus decided it was a time for looking cute and climbing up someone`s leg. As a result of this he is now having a training holiday at the home of a good friend.

Prudence was quite taken by this chance to show off and swaggered excessively, actually winning a pupy class.

The Young Lad was Best Dog.

Whizz condescended to attend, but was not lucky. His absolute disdain for the show, the judge and the human race in general was, I felt, best expressed in a picture.