I should know better

Trailed the Grand Old Lady, who is wheezing something shocking, to the vet. GOL dreads the vet and when the box appeared, she disappeared and was found under my bed. Pulled out she ran off and had to be caught and put in a box. She escaped from that and tried to find refuge with the puppies. Locked the box and endured "Woof!........woof!.........woof!" until the taxi arrived.

Well she has a lung infection and had an antibiotic injection at which she rolled her eyes and glared at me. Had a lot of shopping to do, so asked if I could leave her. As I left I heard "Woof!.......woof!........woof!" and accelerated my steps.

On my way back I could hear her rendering of the Canine National Anthem ten yards away. Collected her with shamefaced apology. "It doesn`t matter," said the girl - "once the others alll joined in, we didn`t really hear her at all......"

Left details for Clever Hans about the worm farms the puppies were running. "Oh, but Hans is very squeamish about that sort of thing". Immediately made her promise to give him ALL the details, length, squirminess, amount, colour etc. Feel it is my duty to harden him to that sort of thing. He`ll thank me some day.....

It`s also my duty to enlighten B, Vomit`s breeder, about the fact that her bitches are perambulating parasite condos......think I will duck this one.

Girl at the checkout in Safeway was on about identity cards, that bonanza for forgers, and said SHE wasn`t paying £40 for any such thing. And I suddenly saw the potential for this to become Tony`s poll tax, a rock to founder on if he tries to make it in any way compulsory. And if he doesn`t, where`s the point?

We the voters have been asking that question a lot recently.