I should know better

So I overcame my recently acquired bus phobia and went into the city and was there when the shops opened and dealt with the back log of Christmas shopping in a rush. Safe back on the bus and heading home, I thought my worries were over.

I slogged down the snowy road laden with parcels, and met my Good Neighbour in deep conversation with a man in a van.

"No water!" he announced.

Van Man added "I can hear water running in the main and there is a serious mains burst."

I then learned that Scottish Water had been down but not to my place, as I was out.

Serious, then. My heart sank.

I volunteered that the outside tap at the garage had been leaking a bit.

My Good Neighbour said he would come and have a look.

As we came through the gate he pointed to the culvert that runs across the road, the one my title deeds require me to keep running at all times as it is a main drain for the woodland above, and told me that the Scottish Water man had designated it as a Serious Leak. So much for their expertise. I had a flash of vision of them being briefed before they set out on a call - "Remember, water is the wet liquid stuff..."

Well, the tap had sprung a bit more. There followed 2 hours in the sub-zero cold as we struggled with it, trying one thing after another and not succeding. The actual tap had cracked. Eventually he removed it and put a cap on the pipe.....and eventually with a bit of effort involving a hammer, the cap held. We checked, and he had water.

"What about the expert and his serious mains leak then?", I asked.

He gave me the look of a man who realises that in involving experts he has strayed far into Numptyland.

"What does he know? He`s from Edinburgh!"

No answering that. I went off to lag the pipe with bubble wrap.

So far the water is still on.