I should know better

No recent posts because my big Qosmio died. Wouldn`t boot, blue screen, message about "This volume not accessed - the whole nine yards. Took it to the local man, who hadn`t a scooby. So today I set off to get it back.

And there was a huge bullock at the gate. Enormous, and looking really well-fed. He gazed plaintively at me with huge moist eyes. Would I give him a home? Did I care?

Emphatically not. I was in a hurry and he was blocking the way. I waved my arms and shouted threats involving sirloin steak, and walloped him on the nose with my umbrella. He gave me that hurt look Iam used to from Solitaire when she gets a row - the "You don`t love me any more" look, and turned to lumber away .

And that`s when it became very obvious that I had not been attacking a bullock with a pink umbrella.

I had been walloping a bull.

A really big bull. With horns.

I went on down the road, not without a few backward glances, and discovered my neighbour busy with a shovel. The bull had left a number of large deposits at her front door. She reckoned it was because he had become really excited after his encounter with the postman. The postman, of course, drives a bright red van......which now has a few horn-sized dents in it.

I left her to it and went on to collect the dud laptop.

The bull?

Well, he`s still out there.

If Xena spots him, she`ll see him as a good alternative to rabbit.