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Saga of a woman old enough to know better who lets her life be governed by the ridiculous hobby of breeding and showing dogs, musing on life, the twenty first century, Cameron and his mini-me, and the occasional sheep.
"IN DOG YEARS, I`M DEAD"

Thursday, January 10, 2008

ALLEGRA LAYS AN EGG 

Allegra has had slight urinary problems for some time and has consumed a mountain of delicious pink pills (in liver sausage) as a result. I became worried in case it was something more serious, and on Monday she went in for an Xray.

I came to collect her and walked into the surgery. On the lightbox was what seemed to be an Xray of the pelvis of a small dinosaur. You could tell it was a dinosaur because it had obviously been fossilised in the act of laying quite a large egg.

"That`s it" said the vet. " That`s Allegra. Amazing size for a bladder stone! Especially since her bladder is so tiny. The stone fills it. She has been managing to pee around that for some time, and it will have to come out."

There followed considerable discussion of her very tiny bladder. I was amazed, considering the lengthy bus journeys she had endured needing fewer comfort stops than I did.

The vet was enthusiastic. While they were in there they could re shape, enlarge and reposition the offending organ. I firmly restated the renowned veterinary maxim - well, it should be - "If it ain`t broke, don`t fix it" What else were they going to offer while she was on the table? Collagen ear implants? Tail enhancement? Every time the vet looks at me he doesn`t see a person. He sees his retirement villa in Provence....

Well, Allegra went in for the removal of the Egg. I was worried. She has never had a bad experience. And when I collected her, she was so dazed and confused that her ears had flopped .

But she is a c onfident soul. A few hours at home and a nice meal did the trick and she now insists that she is cured, and why should she wear this ridiculous party hat (that`s what the vet calls the plastic collars) when there is no party in the offing and it obviously doesn`t suit her?

Truly is being very superior about all this.

Just you wait, Truly. With luck, next month you will be laying more than an egg...
Comments:
Allegra, you are too young to remember "you too can look 5 lbs thinner" but you will be able to say "ya boo shucks" to Truly as she gets fatter and you now have a sylph-like figure!
 
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