I should know better

Yesterday was my biennial visit to the Club Show, or Jurassic Park as I like to think of it -not too many young people in our breed....... took the usual supects plus The Actor, a young dog whose late entry into the world of showing has a lot to do with the very late arrival of one of his crown jewels.

They all behaved really well, and we came home with two firsts. Had a good gossip with Best Friend and met the aged lady who had sold me one of my first really serious show dogs - remembered her as a bright young thing and felt the shadow of the zimmer hovering........Remembered the dog well - Havoc and Red Charlie were my favourites - Havoc the small anxious one and Red Charlie the big Alpha Male. I lived in a street then, not a cottage in a wood, and one morning when it had snowed we came out to discover the kids next door had made a really good snowman with hat, scarf, nose carrot, coal buttons - the works. H and RC were appalled. But they knew their duty. H stood on the path and kept me from moving while RC set off to make the street safe for democracy. He engaged the alien snowman with a barrage of barks jumps and screeches from all sides, and when he was quite sure that there would be no volley of returning fire, he stalked up and ceremonially widdled on it at great length. At this Havoc gave an audible sigh of relief, stood aside and indicated that I was safe to advance. I still really miss those two.

On the way home, discovered an ancient motorbike dumped on my road. Far too heavy for me to move. A real problem. Council help in our area is a joke - my last special uplift is still sititng outside the gate and I think birds are nesting in it.

Went out this morning to have my blood pressure checked at the Miscellaneous Clinic (the Hypertension clinic is a victim of economies and I do hope Miscellaneous is not a euphemism for VD .....) Had to get a taxi home, due to weight of dogfood I bought on offer at Safeway, and of course at the turn in the road we encountered the venerable motorbike. Driver had a look. "Can`t get past that missus." I brought to mind all my experience in man (and male dog) management. "I`ll try to shift it" I quavered in a Little Old Lady voice.

At once, his masculinity challenged, he got out and began to heave it Little result. I could see a danger of him giving up so I leaned out and cried in an even more feeble voice "I`m coming to help you!" That did it. He lost his temper and with a barrage of expletives best deleted, he gave a huge shove and the useless thing catapulted over and into the hedge, welll out of the way.

Problem solved. Large tip. Men have their uses.