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Saga of a woman old enough to know better who lets her life be governed by the ridiculous hobby of breeding and showing dogs, musing on life, the twenty first century, Cameron and his mini-me, and the occasional sheep.
"IN DOG YEARS, I`M DEAD"

Friday, March 16, 2012

ON THE IMPORT REGISTER? 

Woola is the latest canine sensation. He has been imported from Mars (Well, actually from the Pixar film JOHN CARTER). and is riding a huge wave of popularity. I can see that these dogs will be a must -have....just wait for Paris Hilton to get one.

And I thought...on the Import Register?

Provisional Standard

Breed MARTIAN HOUND

General appearance : Like a cross between a toad and a turtle.
Temperament: Loyal, faithful, useful in war or home defence. Not liked by postmen....
Size: approximately that of a small Shetland pony
Head: Massive. Brachycephalic. Slight resemblance to a frog....if you tend to have nightmares about frogs....or to John Prescott, (another nightmare)
Mouth: Undershot. Teeth long, sharp, pointed, and arranged in 3 neat rows.
Legs: 10. Some loose skin permitted.
Gait: Amazingly fast...about 80mph. Would need a really large ring ...possibly a football pitch. Handler permitted to use motorbike or fast car.
Body: Massive
Neck: None
Coat: None
Disqualifying faults: Successful attempt to eat judge. ( Are you going to look to see if he is entire, then? Good luck!)


Here he is in action, near the end of this clip:



And then I wondered....would he pass the KC vet checks?

Comments:
That creature is just ugly. Hopefully the habit of eating the owner disqulalifies it from the import list. Of course there are people who always want dangerous "pets" like lions and tigers. Idiots.
 
I love the Woola!! Definitely reflected the Disney influence on the film but still charming. And I enjoyed your Standard description. Especially the bit about handlers being allowed to use motorized transport! :-) Thanks for the chuckle.
It also made me think... they would set new speed records in Agility. They'd be a bit hard on the equipment though.
 
I remembered "Woola my faithful Martian hound" from the books, way back in my youth, and thought he actually benefited from the Disney treatment in the film. Woola has become quite a cult on the net, and the clip has gone viral.

I can see potential for the Martian Hound (I think Calot might be the correct term) in racing and schutzhund, provided the organisers of the latter didn`t mind losing a few limbs here and there.....

And an interesting prospect for the police...
 
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