I should know better

It`s been a trying time for young Merlin.

A kind friend has volunteered to "do him out" for me several times before Crufts, and so he has been making visits to the east coast - visits that end in hot soapy water and lots of conditioner. Not happy visits, then. Not exactly a Grand Day Out. I have a lovely doggy chat with friends - he has suds, and a strange woman with an endless supply of shampoo being very intrusive with his private bits.

Last time, he was allowed to visit his dad.

It didn`t go too well.

Merlin`s father is Leo, a beautiful fellow with a very impressive show record. All of which means nothing to him. For, like Florian The Climbing Dog, Leo has a hobby that verges on obsession. He is in fact in training for the Olympics. His particular discipline is Long Distance Target Pee.The essence of this is accuracy at a distance. Leo practises constantly.

I first became aware of this at our Club show, where Leo and his half-sister Daisy were in a crate close to Marcus. Leo didn`t like the way the other boy was looking at His Girl (the taboos imposed by close relationship are entirely lost on dogs, and the fact that Daisy is also Marcus` half sister was not inhibiting that swaggering little Casanova at all ).

Leo glared. He stood up to his full height. He moved sideways on. A glazed look came over his eyes as he calcuated vector and elevation, and then a jet shot out directly at Marcus. It reached a considerable distance but didn`t quite make the target, who was totally unimpressed. Undeterred, Leo continued to refine his aim, until his owner moved him away to spare the floor and any hapless passers-by further soaking. In all my years in dogs I had never seen anything quite like it.

And this was the father Merlin was being introduced to.

He came out of his little yellow travelling box, and Leo came rushing down the garden., up on his toes, neck stretched, eyes blazing. A strange dog on his territory!

Merlin was shocked - an angry senior dog! In panic he turned and roared at another dog he had spotted out of the corner of his eye, to try and restore his position. As Daisy subsided in a flurry of white petticoats, indicating that she could quite fancy a bit of rough, his confusion was complete - he had attempted to intimidate a girl! The shame of it!

Leo took all this in - strange male, insult to his girl. But he didn`t want a fight. Neither dog is in any way a fighter. He looked around and spotted the intruder`s bright yellow travelling box. That old familiar unfocused look came over his eyes as he calculated vector, elevation and ,since he was outdoors, windage - and then he hit the box spot on.

It was the last straw. Merlin was totally demoralised and had to be picked up and taken away.

Leo was triumphant. And quietly pleased to have had an unexpected spot of target practice.