I should know better

I hate this weather. After three days of thunder lightning and rain in stairrods, and humidity that would make a duck weep, immured with a gang of frustrated little dogs, I know just how Noah felt.

It has caused a problem with Dido`s padded bandage. Yes, she still has it - although the leg is deemed to have healed, no-one is willing to remove the thing until the head of practice comes back from holiday. And these padded dressings absorb water like a sponge - dipped in a puddle and wet for days.

But I have met this problem before. Years ago a little bitch called Jocasta cracked a toe and was similarly wrapped up. And the thing was always soggy, and being dried out with a hairdryer.

I was at my wits end, and studied it. What would waterproof it? I had tried messing about with poly bags and rubber bands to no avail. I stared at the little padded leg. What did it look like? The dimensions suddenly rang a bell. I went straight out to the chemist.

"Packet of three, Durex Extra Strength, please."

I was very gratified to note the look of respect on the face of the young girl at the till. And yes, the condom fitted perfectly. And was waterproof - well you would hope so! Roll it on, let her out. bring her in, roll it off.

Dido has been wearing condoms for weeks now. She wore it to the vet today, no doubt totally shocking Helga, who is German and very strait laced.

And tomorrow Dido goes off on her honeymoon, to meet a very attractive young dog down south. She will probably be the only canine bride on record to take her own condoms with her.....